Loss is such a painful part of our lives! What I have found is that often one loss will trigger the memories and feelings of unresolved previous losses in our lives. We grieve over many losses: the loss of a family member, of a relationship, of a loved pet, of a stage of life, of a dream we had for our future, of a job. Sometimes we grieve over the loss of youth or a physical or mental capacity we once had but no more. Though each of us experiences loss, your loss is unique to you. Your loss is embedded in your unique relational and experiential world.

What we require is often a witness: someone who will bear the sadness and memories of what once was but no longer is. And we require someone who will not hurry us through as if to say, “Enough already! Back to real life now!” It takes as long as it takes. We may also need someone who will value and bear with our spiritual questions in such moments, while not abandoning our faith at life’s darkest hour.

Sometimes persistent grief can significantly interrupt the quality of our lives in the present, including our relationships. In such instances, we call this “complicated grief,” likely because the loss is attached to previous unacknowledged or unresolved losses. If this is your situation, we can benefit from psychoanalytic therapy in order to understand the meanings (sometimes complex and paradoxical) of your unique experience of loss. We may also discuss the benefits of lifestyle changes, meditation, nutritional and functional medicine practitioners, as well as the help of your medical provider to help you through this especially painful time in your life.